swan lake is the dopest shit!

I'm a god awful cook. I made EZ Mac and it turned out like cheese soup with floating debris in it. I washed it down with Welch's "Grape Drink," which doesn't exactly taste like grapes, and clearly the drinking part is implied, because it is a beverage. Now I'm bored and I plan on sitting around the house all day long.

da da da da da dum dum da

I truly can't believe that I got a 5 on my history test. I remember sitting at this very computer a little over a year ago, trying my hardest to squeeze out some shit about Jefferson's philantrophy and how every other American inventor to follow was just the poor, deaf, blind, and retarded man's version of him. I completed all of my summer homework the night before the first day of school. Does thinking back on the past ever make you think of the song "Oh What a Night" by the Four Seasons? As I recall, it ended much too soon. If they don't play that song at my wedding, I will have to choke at least eight bitches. I can't wait to go to Oregon. One of my favorite days in my life was when my grandma mailed the fourth Harry Potter book directly to the ranch. I rode my bike five miles to pick it up and carried it back with me in a florescant knapsack (as whack as that word is, it's the best description of that item-holder this side of the English language). When I got home, I cracked open an orange cream soda and started devouring the book.



Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you forever.

everything's not lost

my head just aches when I think of
the things that I shouldn't have done
but life is for livin'
we all know
and I don't wanna live it alone

double lame-o donkey shit

Tonight I'm going to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I'm dressed up as sort of a lazy-eyed Thai fisherman with orange pants and gold shoes for this event. I sort of forgot about this little creative outlet because I've been ungrounded, and feeling liberated is one of the greatest experiences outside of childbirth or seeing a ghost or something. I feel like I should apologize, but maybe this will make you feel better.

i'm holding on, i'm strong

So the new girl on MTV is kind of a chump, but she's the kind of chump who lends me money sometimes. Re: I like her. Still, as Sister Maria told me at the School of Hard Knocks, mo money, mo problems. DON'T FORGET TO LOCK MY FUCKING DOORS, BITCH!

Armi ja Danny - I Wanna Love You Tender

How can I be sure you're not pretender?

i'm BOSSAY!

That's right, I brought all the boys to the yard
And that's right, I'm the one that's tattooed on his arm

What an empowering song. She also does this dance in the music video that looks like a velociraptor, which is kind of a change of pace. I guess she's a reptilian killing machine that scares the shit out of me.





My grounding is almost over! And you know what that means. Barrels upon barrels of Brazillian hookers and gift cards to Best Buy and Lisa Frank binders. Can life get any better? Probably. If I had to choose between being ungrounded and getting season tickets to Peter Jans Golf Course, I'd have to go with the tickets. But it would be close. Damn close.

junior year through music

"nobody puts baby in a corner" - fall out boy
"seasons of love" - rent
"hey ma" - cam'ron
"i'll be here a while" - 311
"backyard" - guster
"casimir pulaski day" - sufjan stevens
"baby i love your way" - peter frampton
"king without a crown" - matisyahu
"l.g. fuad" - motion city soundtrack
"dust in the wind" - kansas
"don't change" - musiq
"bailamos" - enrique iglesias
"working for the weekend" - loverboy
"addiction" - kanye west
"start of something new" - high school musical
"slippery people" - talking heads
"last dance with mary jane" - tom petty
"crazy" - gnarls barkley
"wild thing" - tone loc

what the fuck is this

Lets bypass the bullshit and move on because
The minute hand moves faster than you think it does
And by no fault of yours and by no fault of mine
The bottom line is laying in the bed that we've been playing in tonight

hey oh

the more I see
the less I know
the more I'd like to let it go

KOKOMO

Today is Father's Day. Emily and I gave my dad a framed antique handbill that says "BE A LAWYER." According to my dad, it has "a certain je ne sais quoik [sic]." Then we played Scattegories. Man, I am good at that game. I'm probably as good at it as you are at picking at a scab. Yesterday I went to the beach and Cross-Rhodes and the Custer Street Fair. My writer's block is taking a toll on my health. My hair is going to fall out any second now.

"Come here, I'm not gonna hurt you, I just wanna chew on your neck." - Homeward Bound. For my money, nothing gets better than a heartwarming story of three domesticated animals finding their way home through the Sierra Nevadas. I love animals. If I lived in Korea, I'd eat hella dogs.

i guess that's how the future's done

Recently Downloaded Songs
"Mushaboom" - Fiest
"Sleep to Dream" - Fiona Apple
"Paint's Peeling" - Rilo Kiley
"Two Wuv" - Tally Hall
"As Time Goes By" - Casablanca

Would you rather spend your month of June with mono and attending summer school (aka spending four hours of the precious summer morning yearning for the gentle caress of Death) or spend the first three weeks of June grounded like a delayed plane, with a curfew of 6:00? I'd pick the second one, which works out well for me, because it's my life as of right now. It's true - rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

could it be that little wrinkle over yo nose

Recently Downloaded Songs
"When You're Mad" - Ne-Yo
"I'll Be There" - The Jackson Five
"Snow (Hey Oh)" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
"If I Didn't Care" - The Ink Spots
"Woman" - Wolfmother
"Blueberry Hill" - Fats Domino
"Lemonade" - Tsunami Bomb
"Dear Diary" - Britney Spears


I'm going to California tomorrow. There's a gold rush happening and I intend to cash in. I packed a shovel and a wire hanger in case I get raped and have to abort something. How insensitive. I'm actually going to see UCLA and USC and Universal Studios. Hell yeah.

isolation

I keep dreaming about being stuck on an asphalt island, no shade in sight, no palm trees, no sand, no beautiful waterfalls to make out with dolphins in, nothing. It's so hot on the island, and my body sticks to the bottom like gum on your shoe. I end up melting like candle wax as seagulls pick at my eyeballs. When I wake up, I forget all about it until I remember what happened to my heart on the island: it exploded.
Wow, what a shitty little anecdote. It's almost as bad as "my freckles always appear in triangles. I look closer at them and realize they are tiny little holy trifectas of pain."

summer

It's the first day of the Holy Holiday of Summer Vacation, and it's time for everyone to write some sort of deeply introspective and reflective post about what they've learned during the school year, and how they've grown as a person, but I'm not good at being serious. What even happened this year? I made some pizzas, delivered some flowers in the Hot Whip (my '96 Dodge Intrepid that smells like a petting zoo when I turn on the heat or air conditioning), had two and a half boyfriends, completed several homework assignments in the MRC seventh period, saw Guster and Iron & Wine in concert, traveled to Hawaii and got a "honey almond body spread," which was sort of whack, laughed more than I cried, wrote stories for the Evanstonian, got over my Exeter grief, got proper medication for my mental illness, realized my sort of maturity, made new friends, made a few new enemies, and was generally okay with my life.

But...

what if I got it wrong?

everyday i'm hustlin'

I've been doing a little cleaning out of my Word documents - mostly things I wrote when I was nearly comatose, drunk on exhaustion and emotion.


The Little Mermaid is the greatest movie ever made.
I am willing to debate this with any ignorant fool who disagrees.

Although it seems weird that Ariel remembers and correctly pronounces "reprimand", but can't remember the word "street".
Okay, crackhead.
What's a fire and why does it, what's the word, burn?
Good question.

+++

HOW TO GET OVER HIM:

Cry. Listen to BBMak and cry and lie on your basement couch all day with Kleenex and Love Actually. Don't pretend you're fine when you're hurting inside. Let it all hit and give yourself time to grieve. Ice cream is good. So are bubble baths.
When you feel like getting out of your house, find your friends. Go to the mall, play pool, have a dance-off...just hang out. Laugh a lot. Think about it this way: everytime you laugh, you're healing an ounce at a time.

+++

I read somewhere that a heartbreak can actually cause physical pain, and this has never felt so hard. I want something awesome to happen, right now. Maybe I’ll go outside and find a penny on my stoop, or someone will put their ear to my heart and tell me the sound is beautiful.

+++

Ms. Salcedo: Someone in the dorm came to me and said that you had been upset, then took a walk through town and ran into some townies and got high.
Me: That is not true at all, I mean, my eyes were bloodshot cus I had been crying...but I didn't smoke pot...
Ms. Salcedo: Getting high is no big deal. It's not gonna kill you. Smiles.

Yeah, WHATT?

If I had a nickel for everytime I wanted to punch you in the face, well, let's just say I'd go to Coinstar and cash in.

Last night I went to a "Kane County Cougars" single A minor league baseball game. I can probably compose an extensive list of "things I'd rather do," which includes such endeavors like "being buried alive" or "read Polly Pocket Look and Find" for five hours straight. Oh my! Polly and her friends have stumbled across a jeweled forest. What a dazzling display of riches! With such colorful, sparkling surprises behind every corner, no one knows what will turn up next. See if you can find these extra-special treasures. I guess it wasn't that bad in the end, but that's because there was a fireworks show afterwards. My Ultimate Dream, other than being fed Taco Bell through an iv, is to have fireworks shot up in the shape of my face.
I want to li-li-li-lick Andy Warhol from his head to his toes.
"I really do live for the future, because when I'm eating a box of candy, I can't wait to taste the last piece." That's my senior quote, unless they allow "bitches, blunts, 40 oz, and stunts" in the yearbook. Which they won't, because of that damn Slut who's runnng the place. Jacob Slutsky, that is!!! I am becoming slightly obsessed with all techno music, because of the insipid lyrics and the dope beats. I've never ever been to paradise. I never ever seen no angel's eyes. No, never ever left this magic die. No matter where you are, you are my lucky star.

Now, it's time for a little game of Buy Me Things.

Asian is optional.

does hailey need to choke a bitch?

I don't know what to do. I feel like the sand and water in my stomach is spilling out the sides and the pills are drowning. The funny thing is, sometimes I forgot I was in the hospital, like when we watched Austin Powers or when Jasmin called "PartyLine" and made me talk to "Ricky" by pressing 22. The Hot Tub. And then I looked down at my wrist and I saw the hospital band with my name on it, then I realized that there were bars on all the windows, then I understood why it said "LIVING HELL" on my whitewashed walls. And now I'm home and my sister is crying and I'm grounded for a month.

I've come to the realization that I like shitty songs. Come on. There are gems wrapped in garbage.

Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you

thanks wikipedia

The first single from [Sisqo's latest album] is said to be entitled "Who's Your Daddy". It's rumored to be released in the summer of 2006. Other songs Sisqo has released over the past year consist of, In da Club, So Seductive, One Love, Really Real and One Finga In the Air. Some of which may or may not appear on his new album.

but now you realize he's not selling any alibis

I found the skankiest song ever:

I know them other guys, they been talking bout
the way I do what I do
They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true
They know you're the one I wanna give it to
I can see you want me too

The young lady who sings that song is named "Cassie." Come on, Cassie. Go back to Dragon Tales.

Recently Downloaded Songs:
"take a bow" - madonna
"pussy got ya hooked" - three six mafia (devil worshippers!)
"a praise chorus" - jimmy eat world
"like a rolling stone" - bob dylan
"summer breeze" - seal & crofts
"what if" - coldplay
"tonight, not again" - jason mraz

So, I've had to do a lot of old people interviewing for the Historical Society, and, as a result of listening to old people, I started thinking about other stuff. How do we want to be remembered, if at all? This is why I'm going to do a new project - recording people's life stories. I've also found that most people, when given the chance to talk about themselves, will dwelve into such talk with great enthusiasm.