i can't form sentences correctly good anymore

Some Good Ideas (do not steal):

- Next My Mom

- Condiment Condoms: from mustard to soy sauce, yo flavor is ready

- Sleeping Beauty fairy powers transferred to my blood stream

crimson

and clover

over

and over

don't suck on fred's head...that's daphne's job

The other night I was at Tani's while my Burger King sat outside because that shit is XXX NONKOSH XXX and not allowed inside. I found this picture of him from eighth grade graduation with this man teddy bear and had to steal it. It was vital to my survival. Actually, I didn't steal it because it was in a decorated frame and looked pretty precious to his old man and like, my conscious was on overdrive. Point is, Tani, give me that goddamn picture before sell your five year old stripper sister to some water buffaloes.

I've been looking at Postsecret for the last couple minutes. Here are some particularly touching ones. Goddamn...this website really understands the human spirit. I need to go out there and pay $29.99 for a book of them all. I JUST WANT SOME CONNECTION!

You're the only one who stuck it out last night

The only other one who caught the other line

You're the only one when this world collides

The one that I can't deny

The Bakery

CLERK: Good day, Miss. What can I do for you?

CUSTOMER: I want to buy some gorgeous bread.

CLERK: Do you want a loaf of whole-grain blood or would you like some buttermilk booties?

CUSTOMER: Just a regular loaf with sesame baboons on textbooks on it.

CLERK: All right now, how about some nice Flavor of Love cake?

CUSTOMER: Well, I have 100 children, and they all like to eat sweet wild blueberries. How much are your cookies?

CLERK: We have Cooler Ranch chip cookies at cien dollars a pound. And we have this box of assorted little shaved pussies for only two dollars.

CUSTOMER: I'll take one. They look like they don't have more than THE NUMBER 23 calories.

CLERK: All right. That will be one box of Scooby-Doo fans, our special indigo berry pie, and a big family-sized loaf of astronaut.