so

No, I don't want your number
No, I don't wanna give you mine and
No, I don't wanna meet you nowhere
No, I don't want none of your time

nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

Isn't it funny how you remember seemingly insignificant events for a much longer time than you realize? For example, when my little sister turned eight, she got a card that had mice dressed as court jesters on the front; the inside said, "Let the merriment commence! Happy birthday!" Let the merriment commence! The next time I walk into an eight-year-old's birthday party, carrying two cases of High Life (the champagne of beers), that's the first thing I'm going to say. Or in fifth grade, when Tiffany Young asked me if I knew who Sisqo, of "Thong Song" fame, was. I said I didn't, and I don't think I've ever felt so white in my life. I had a dream where I broke my arm and had to get a purple cast, because that's all they had left. What does that mean? That I have no choice but to become an advocate for gay rights? Then again, I also had a dream where there was an acapella group called "Hot Cheese" performing "My Girl" in the dining hall of Hogwarts. I don't exactly care for people who feel the need to chronicle their dreams in any sort of media, be through a textbox or sign language or Morse code. Morse code has the illest dotz and dashez.

it's the truth even if it didn't happen

"You go skipping and prancing through life, skipping through a field of dandelions. But what you don't see is that on each dandelion is a bee, and on each bee is an ant, and the ant is biting the bee and the bee is biting the flower, and if that shocks you then I'm sorry."

your love is worth millions of treasures, but i can't even spare a dime

I've obtained a new bad habit. It's called "chewing on my watch strap as though I am an overseer with tobacco." It's not something I'm attempting to hide, either, which means I'm chomping away on my poor time-telling device at school, around respectable people. They don't need to watch such a disgusting act, but nobody's said anything to me about it so far. Senior year so far is okay, but not great. That used to be my catch phrase from age 3-10.
- How was "The Lion King 2?"
- Okay, but not great.
- Was that donut filled with pus as delicious as the Krispy Kreme commercials made it seem?
- It was okay, but not great.
I think you understand.

sunshine on my shoulders

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way

and i'd really love to see you tonight

August is always such a frantic month. In the beginning of June, summer is like an unpeeled, perfectly ripe orange that offers freedom for a short three months. By August, the Sunday of months, you're trying your best to squeeze the last juices out of that thing, but all you get are seeds of summer homework and random, weird hookups. And as we all know, seeds are not edible. Just like corn. And sour cream. I hate when people try to convience you that certain foods are delicious when in all actuality, they fucking suck.

swan lake is the dopest shit!

I'm a god awful cook. I made EZ Mac and it turned out like cheese soup with floating debris in it. I washed it down with Welch's "Grape Drink," which doesn't exactly taste like grapes, and clearly the drinking part is implied, because it is a beverage. Now I'm bored and I plan on sitting around the house all day long.

da da da da da dum dum da

I truly can't believe that I got a 5 on my history test. I remember sitting at this very computer a little over a year ago, trying my hardest to squeeze out some shit about Jefferson's philantrophy and how every other American inventor to follow was just the poor, deaf, blind, and retarded man's version of him. I completed all of my summer homework the night before the first day of school. Does thinking back on the past ever make you think of the song "Oh What a Night" by the Four Seasons? As I recall, it ended much too soon. If they don't play that song at my wedding, I will have to choke at least eight bitches. I can't wait to go to Oregon. One of my favorite days in my life was when my grandma mailed the fourth Harry Potter book directly to the ranch. I rode my bike five miles to pick it up and carried it back with me in a florescant knapsack (as whack as that word is, it's the best description of that item-holder this side of the English language). When I got home, I cracked open an orange cream soda and started devouring the book.



Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you forever.

everything's not lost

my head just aches when I think of
the things that I shouldn't have done
but life is for livin'
we all know
and I don't wanna live it alone

double lame-o donkey shit

Tonight I'm going to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I'm dressed up as sort of a lazy-eyed Thai fisherman with orange pants and gold shoes for this event. I sort of forgot about this little creative outlet because I've been ungrounded, and feeling liberated is one of the greatest experiences outside of childbirth or seeing a ghost or something. I feel like I should apologize, but maybe this will make you feel better.

i'm holding on, i'm strong

So the new girl on MTV is kind of a chump, but she's the kind of chump who lends me money sometimes. Re: I like her. Still, as Sister Maria told me at the School of Hard Knocks, mo money, mo problems. DON'T FORGET TO LOCK MY FUCKING DOORS, BITCH!

Armi ja Danny - I Wanna Love You Tender

How can I be sure you're not pretender?

i'm BOSSAY!

That's right, I brought all the boys to the yard
And that's right, I'm the one that's tattooed on his arm

What an empowering song. She also does this dance in the music video that looks like a velociraptor, which is kind of a change of pace. I guess she's a reptilian killing machine that scares the shit out of me.





My grounding is almost over! And you know what that means. Barrels upon barrels of Brazillian hookers and gift cards to Best Buy and Lisa Frank binders. Can life get any better? Probably. If I had to choose between being ungrounded and getting season tickets to Peter Jans Golf Course, I'd have to go with the tickets. But it would be close. Damn close.

junior year through music

"nobody puts baby in a corner" - fall out boy
"seasons of love" - rent
"hey ma" - cam'ron
"i'll be here a while" - 311
"backyard" - guster
"casimir pulaski day" - sufjan stevens
"baby i love your way" - peter frampton
"king without a crown" - matisyahu
"l.g. fuad" - motion city soundtrack
"dust in the wind" - kansas
"don't change" - musiq
"bailamos" - enrique iglesias
"working for the weekend" - loverboy
"addiction" - kanye west
"start of something new" - high school musical
"slippery people" - talking heads
"last dance with mary jane" - tom petty
"crazy" - gnarls barkley
"wild thing" - tone loc

what the fuck is this

Lets bypass the bullshit and move on because
The minute hand moves faster than you think it does
And by no fault of yours and by no fault of mine
The bottom line is laying in the bed that we've been playing in tonight

hey oh

the more I see
the less I know
the more I'd like to let it go

KOKOMO

Today is Father's Day. Emily and I gave my dad a framed antique handbill that says "BE A LAWYER." According to my dad, it has "a certain je ne sais quoik [sic]." Then we played Scattegories. Man, I am good at that game. I'm probably as good at it as you are at picking at a scab. Yesterday I went to the beach and Cross-Rhodes and the Custer Street Fair. My writer's block is taking a toll on my health. My hair is going to fall out any second now.

"Come here, I'm not gonna hurt you, I just wanna chew on your neck." - Homeward Bound. For my money, nothing gets better than a heartwarming story of three domesticated animals finding their way home through the Sierra Nevadas. I love animals. If I lived in Korea, I'd eat hella dogs.

i guess that's how the future's done

Recently Downloaded Songs
"Mushaboom" - Fiest
"Sleep to Dream" - Fiona Apple
"Paint's Peeling" - Rilo Kiley
"Two Wuv" - Tally Hall
"As Time Goes By" - Casablanca

Would you rather spend your month of June with mono and attending summer school (aka spending four hours of the precious summer morning yearning for the gentle caress of Death) or spend the first three weeks of June grounded like a delayed plane, with a curfew of 6:00? I'd pick the second one, which works out well for me, because it's my life as of right now. It's true - rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

could it be that little wrinkle over yo nose

Recently Downloaded Songs
"When You're Mad" - Ne-Yo
"I'll Be There" - The Jackson Five
"Snow (Hey Oh)" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
"If I Didn't Care" - The Ink Spots
"Woman" - Wolfmother
"Blueberry Hill" - Fats Domino
"Lemonade" - Tsunami Bomb
"Dear Diary" - Britney Spears


I'm going to California tomorrow. There's a gold rush happening and I intend to cash in. I packed a shovel and a wire hanger in case I get raped and have to abort something. How insensitive. I'm actually going to see UCLA and USC and Universal Studios. Hell yeah.

isolation

I keep dreaming about being stuck on an asphalt island, no shade in sight, no palm trees, no sand, no beautiful waterfalls to make out with dolphins in, nothing. It's so hot on the island, and my body sticks to the bottom like gum on your shoe. I end up melting like candle wax as seagulls pick at my eyeballs. When I wake up, I forget all about it until I remember what happened to my heart on the island: it exploded.
Wow, what a shitty little anecdote. It's almost as bad as "my freckles always appear in triangles. I look closer at them and realize they are tiny little holy trifectas of pain."