and it ain't a microphone

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

- Nun (I really enjoyed The Sound of Music when I was in kindergarten and I thought all nuns had to do was sing and spin (spinging) on Austrian hilltops and outsmart Nazis, which is so badass. When I told my mom that my life was going to be led in a convent, she told me that seriously and specifically that nuns "aren't allowed to get married...they're married to God" which was kind of her way of saying "THEY CAN'T HAVE SEX AND WE'RE NOT CATHOLIC" but that did not matter to me. I saw a bunch of nuns in the mall on Saturday and I'm sorry, they still look pretty badass.)
- Special Effects Director (This might come off as some psychotic Michael Myers shit, but I sometimes liked to make fake blood in my kitchen sink using ketchup/catsup. And not cus I had like a blood fetish or wanted to chop people up; I just thought it was absolutely amazing that the stuff splattering all over the screen in The Relic wasn't real.)
- Mariah Carey (This still stands. Dreamlover come and rescue me!)


I keep making lists that say "Getting My Life Together" at the top in colorful Sharpie letters. Wishful thinking.