Earlier, I watched part of a movie called In the Mix, starring Usher and the girl from the Lance Bass movie, On the Line. Looks like she has a thing for prepositional phrases! Anyway, there was one line in there that I truly cannot stop thinking about. I don't understand the context, the meaning, or what the scriptwriter was injecting when coming up with this shit.
"Must've been the collard greens that made me lose control."
Clearly, everyone's going to associate that sort of thing with flatuance, but I'm pretty sure bitch was trying to make a sexual inneundo. Which makes me think of having sex in Mr. McGregor's garden with a bunch of rabbits, which is illegal. I looked it up.
Another event that happened earlier this evening that is worth some form of notice is that my dear sister proclaimed that I was "really weird," shocking absolutely nobody. Here are some facts that back up her declaration, and there may be some things you never wanted to know, so your chance to back out is now:
- I eat Doritos in the shower whenever we have it around the house. It's really a glorious feeling, because you can get the "Cooler Ranch" or "Nacho Cheesier" seasoning all over your face without worrying about cleaning it up later. And, if the mood strikes, you can make some sort of goo concoction that sticks in your gums later. It's very Italian.
- I have a snowsuit that I bought at a New Hampshire thrift store that I wear a lot. When I put the snowsuit on, I become Mr. Duncan Hutchins, lifelong resident of Ogwalla, Nebraska. My mom says that this is my way of "not dealing with reality," but I think it's just a way that I am weird.
- The most delicious smell in the world is one of a freshly sharpened pencil. Barbeque, timber, the sea salt of Hawaii...all combined in your writing utensil.
Did you know most girls are really dumb? The proof lies in these little "icon" things
The first two are basically promoting illiteracy. The "Mr. Apple" one is just straight up whack. And look at what I found:
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says I love you, she means it. When a girl says "I miss you", NO ONE in this world can miss you more than that.
Words cannot express how off this little advice passage is. I can only speak for myself, but I'm not "thinking deeply" during the times when I am "not arguing." I'm thinking shit like, "when is this period over," or perhaps "I could really go for some applesauce and a grilled cheese right about now." Also, to quote the immortal Beach Boys, round round get around, I get around, and I've laid on my fair share of chests. That doesn't mean I want to be "theirs" forever. How bizarre would that be? Anyway, the point is, that shit is very wrong and not at all "cute" or "classy," not to mention "n" (I found it on "Cute n Classy Quotes.")
Here are some good songs:
"dust in the wind" - kansas
"my kind of town" - frank sinatra
"slippery people" - talking heads
"blister in the sun" - violent femmes
"hackensack" - fountains of wayne
"oh! darling" - the beatles
"taper jean girl" - kings of leon
"dress you up in my love" - madonna
"crazy" - gnarls barkley
"flake (acoustic)" - jack johnson
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