jason voorhees <3 xoxo

This adorable image tickles me pink!

posted here because it's over 140 characters

The new Pretty Lights album is ahhhmaahhZING, and I wish I could live inside a Daft Punk song. Or I wish I was the kid of dude who owns all the casinos on the Las Vegas strip. Imagine how sweet your birthday parties would be.

these are the top ten most played songs on itunes as of june 29, 2009

Just for the record:

1. "World Goes Round" - Slightly Stoopid

2. A one second clip of Tiffany "New York" Pollard stating, "I'm...the captain."

3. "Tropicana" - Ratatat

4. "Your New Twin Sized Bed" - Death Cab for Cutie (yeah, they're a bunch of shamelessly sensitive pussies but whatever man, I was a depressed adolescent girl at several points in my life thus far.)

5. "Lollipop (Nasty Ways Remix)" - Lil Wayne (one of the most incredible build-ups to a dropped beat perhaps in this century.)

6. "I Luv Your Girl (feat. Young Jeezy)" - The-Dream (Kelly told y'all, don't bring 'em to the club. DUH. Did we not learn anything from "I'ma Flirt"? I mean, come on.)

7. "Creep Fast (feat. T-Pain)" - Twista

8. "Private Eye" - Alkaline Trio (throwback that contains a shout out to channel 11, also known as the Chicago station for PBS, and I dunno, that's pretty cool.)

9. "Party and Bullshit (Ratatat Remix)" - Notorious B.I.G. (let it be noted that when I saw Notorious in theatres with five of my friends, I was the only one who stayed awake throughout the whole thing, which I guess could translate for mad $treet cred.)

10. "Say It to Me Now" - Once soundtrack (this Irish dude is pretty pissed off, but it's still a good song.)

"i just told him to s my d and then peace"

Sorry about these cloyingly romantic pictures, but you know how I feel about park benches and leaves seen through a different depth perception.

Some crazy shit includes: we don't really know why we dream. There is a theory known as the activation-synthesis hypothesis which means that activity spontaenously activates the pons, which in turn synthesizes a story from this pattern of activation, and the normal sensory information can't deal with this stimulation -- hallucinations come from this. The amygdala (the part of your brain responsible for emotional activity), and this gives dreams their emotional content [e.g. sex dreams that for some reason involve Rick Ross (the biggest boss that we've seen thus far)]. I have a Biological Psychology test tomorrow that includes vision, states of consciousness, and memory. But I gotta tell you, Role Models and The Wackness are some of the best movies that I've seen recently.

obsolete technology is my favorite kind of technology

The best compliment I've ever received was from my little sister Isabel, who left a note on my stairs following a fight with my parents: "I like you how you ARE!"

listen bitch, i'm about to fuck your head up with some truth

"Daydream Believer" by the Monkees automatically takes me back to That morning.

I said baby, you can have whatever you like. Yes, that includes everything on the Dollar Menu.

sumskis

1. I really recommend watching the music video for Jamie Foxx's "Blame It" aka the quintessential
DBHH (dumb but harmless ho)'s theme son. Ron Howard is in it. Richie Cunningham from "Happy Days" is featured in a music video to a song where the lyrical content is like this: Blame it on the goose! Got you feelin' loose! I can understand why you'd want The Fonz to jump over a shark on water skis or something but really, Ron Howard? What are you doing?
2. My prediction for the NBA finals is Nuggets vs. Magic. Meaning nobody will give an expired coupon about it other than the states of Colorado and Florida. (Lebron James is also a dime piece, let it be noted.)
3. "America's Funniest Home Videos" is just a primitive version of YouTube. Sorry to be so frank.

jamaican me crazy

I liked this picture so much that I made it my Twitter background.


It is funny, how you learn it all from the beginning like you've never felt that way before. I've been pwning these boys at Super Smash Brothers N64 for $0 down and 0.0% APR aka YOU GOT PWNED FOR FREE, BITCH! I'm running out of originality but at least there's some beer left.

"this must be the place" - talking heads

...out of all those kinds of people
you got a face with a view
I'm just an animal looking for a home
share the same space for a minute or two
and you'll love me 'til my heart stops
love me 'til I'm dead
eyes that light up, eyes look through you
cover up the blank spots, hit me on the head

come here baby girl, you're now fuckin with the best in the world

I'm at gate B44 in the Denver International Airport. Marie Osmond is on Larry King. Marie: on Dieting, Depression, and Divorce. And alliteration, apparently. What she should be addressing is why the huge picture of her and Donnie on the side of the Flamingo makes her look like she needs serious dental surgery. I would be irritated at that if it were me. People are starting to board the plane but I'm way in the back and my assigned group won't get called for a while. I'm glad DIA gives you free wi-fi; also they have smoking lounges which is quite a rarity these days. My first night in Vegas I texted my mom, "YOU CAN SMOKE INSIDE HERE!" because I was pleased as punch, specifically spiked punch. Well, time to get organized so I can get on this aircraft and be home in just a few hours.

i have to laugh to keep from crying

I got inside my Night Ride mini-van tonight and the heat was blasting and it smelled like McDonalds french fry grease and Lupe Fiasco was rapping about misfits and outcasts who listen to the Misfits and Outkast and I felt the kind of stomach pounding homesickness that only hits hard in waves. Then I got out of the car at 19th and Cascade and smoked a cigarette and it went away.

who even knows

I am SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED.
I really need help.
Please.

news.

I am staying in BOULDER for the SUMMER! (I'll be back in Evanston in July and I'm not coming for spring break cus I'm going to Lake Mead and Las Vegas.)

they call me quiet girl, but i'm a riot

I'm reading about ethnorepublic and regional tensions in Russia. FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD!!! Seriously though, there might be 140 ethnic groups up in Russia but to quote the Vehix guy who gets newspaper ink all over his face, "[OH CHICAGO,] there's got to be a better way!!!" to get all their individual rights protected. And this shit is so sad.

Here's a soon-to-be patented idea by yours truly (COPYRIGHT!!! DO NOT STEAL!): pharmaceuticals in the form of cotton candy. They can make fluoride taste like cotton candy, so I'm sure the technology for this exists. Did you know that technology is growing at an exponential rate, so that we have really no clue what's gonna be around in twenty years? I guess that's not that impressive of a claim, since nobody can see the future (prophecies involving the Chosen One not included).

i can hit a target through a telescope

The trick and treat and twist and turn of it all right now is to always have something to look forward to. I used to think I must've been a great white shark in a past life and now have to deal with all the bad karma from eating people/my young, but this 180 change is kind of freaking me out. Everything is falling into place. The January bullshit flotsam is officially gone, and this month might be my best ever. I don't wanna speak too sooYESITWILLBE...n.

Still, let's give Faith Hill a little bit of credit for the song "Cry" (sample hilarious YouTube comments:


southerner95 (1 week ago)
i LOVEEE THiS SONG..AND iTS NOT MEANN...EVERY WOMAN HAS FELT THAT WAY AT SOME POiNT.


shallycat (1 week ago)
fuck exboyfriends


reera43097 (2 days ago)
all arnt but guyss
can be and its kinda
annoying...but they
just dont wanna look
week infront of uss so
i guess thats kinda sweet=/)


And...snowball.

my soul is covered in flamin hots

I feel like I'm on the brink and I am moderately tempted to run away to Central America and change my name and eat nachos all day and marry an optimistic deep sea diver. I am so ready for this godawful month to be over. My new years resolution to cut back on cigarette smoking is all but forgotten and my boyfriend punted my heart into a vat of hot vegetable oil - similar to the kind used to make donut holes in sixth grade cooking class. W2G, ex-boyfriend.
Thingz That are BULLSHIT:
- Ticketmaster
- people who are happy and nonchalant about it
- my current lack of productivity
- fuck it I am too frustrated to continue

give thanks and praises

Swans are monogamous creatures. Nice work. I bet in the bird world, harpies (In Greek mythology, smelly, razor-sharp clawed birds, who defiled the food of King Phineus of Salmydessus) resent these fuckers.


It's my goal to kill my upcoming final exams with every weapon in Clue. I'm going to wrench my Religious Studies paper and then candlestick my Sociology exam and also revolver whip my Psychology test until I am victorious.

this sweater vest only cost me 50 cents. a large fries costs more than this sweater vest.

Things You Will Like More If You Smoke Weed, As They Irresistibly Appeal To The Five Senses:
- Planet Earth
- all you can eat buffets
- Family Guy (WARNING: this may turn on you and end up freaking you out hardcore, i.e. when Peter is Mary Poppins and murders those British children)
- coloring books and a wide range of Sharpies
- the dialogue on Gossip Girl. I mean, I know it's only a show...but ugh, nobody can be that stupid.
- feeling nostalgic and going through Facebook pictures from high school, because it is a wonderful relief remembering how little of it really mattered.
- any candy that looks like it's kind of made out of radioactive toxic waste or is just straight up sugar (i.e. Fun Dip, Pixie Sticks, Baby Bottle Pops).
- showering and then curling up with hot chocolate and a good book (This book definitely knows what's up.)
- natural history museums
- glowsticks
- learning American Sign Language to Mariah Got That Fiyaah's Touch My Body.
- StumpleUpon. (Obviously. Just don't get too antisocial and fall into the trap of becoming entrenched in looking up Einstein quotes and botanic trivia and things like that.)
- http://moodstream.gettyimages.com/usa/
- FLAMIN' HOT CHEETOS. Flamin' Hot Fritos are also acceptable. And then you'll look like you got into a factory mishap with red fingers.




i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

-- e.e. cummings


Goddamn. When poetry is bad, it's absolutely terrible (i.e:
"We've been together a long time
in both good times and bad,
Even though some times were uneasy
it's been the best six months I've ever had...")
but when it's good...it can be the most beautiful arrangement of words that it makes me want to cry.

"a lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you" - fortune cookie

12 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license.
10. Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays & lesbians.

FIN.

A Change Is Gonna Come.

On Halloween, my girls and I got to see Jedi Mind Tricks at the Fox for free, because that kind of service is feasible when you have titties and are wearing an extremely inauthentic Indian Maiden costume and you know a guy who knows the bouncers. The show was, in the words of so many neon-emblazoned snowboarder Boulder boys, "sick" - these guys are underground hip-hop but are also extremely politically conscious, which are two characteristics that are totally up my alley and down my block, so to speak. They also made jokes like, "you can't get any pussy if you're a fat rapper. Fat R&B singers...they get all the pussy," and then breaking into a quivering harmony sounding a lot like the end of "Love in This Club." They started that repetition game that's fun to partake in when you're at a rap concert, starting with "FUCK GEORGE BUSH!" (Audience: "FUCK GEORGE BUSH!") and "O-BAAAAA-MA!" (Audience: "O-BAAAAA-MA!") and I know it sounds silly in this context, but screaming that was the first time I felt a warm glimmer of confidence and faith that Barack Obama would be our next President.

I clearly remember the day Bush was re-elected in 2004. (Especially those fucking frightening chants of "FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!"). I don't think I've ever felt so crushed and disappointed and powerless in my life. It was so frustrating that I couldn't even vote because I was only fifteen at the time, and because apparently the rest of the nation didn't think that CHANGE was as important as I did. I cried for a while in my dorm room, but then I updated my AIM info (oh, AOL Instant Messenger. What a hefty part of my social life you were for a while back then) to: OBAMA '08 in the largest font I could fit in the space provided.

Barack Obama gave the Keynote Address at the 2004 DNC. I'm pretty sure that "the audacity of hope" will someday be as nationally recognizable as "four score and seven years ago" is. It just completely embodied everything that needed to happen to stop America's downfall. And when he was done, I have been obsessed with Obama. (Although I am a Hillary fan as well and I would've happily voted for her if she had won the nomination.) This guy grew up all over the place and is so fucking intelligent and yes, he can inspire a nation to change their collective cynical political mindset to one of HOPE, but he has solutions to the awful mess our country is in. And honestly, I think one of the worst parts of the Bush administration is that they DELIBERATELY lied to and KNOWINGLY misinformed the American public about issues that we have the right to know about (side note: not like there's going to be any conservatives reading this punchy-ass-I-should-SO-be-studying-right-now blog post, but in case there are...if you try to dispute me on this, I'm gonna recommend that you check out What Happened by Scott McClellan (the former press secretary for Bush) from your local library and then try to talk to me.)

This is my favorite part from Obama's 2004 DNC speech:

"...there is not a liberal America and a conservative America -- there is the United States of America. There is not a Black America and a White America and Latino America and Asian America -- there’s the United States of America.

The pundits, the pundits like to slice-and-dice our country into Red States and Blue States; Red States for Republicans, Blue States for Democrats. But I’ve got news for them, too. We worship an "awesome God" in the Blue States, and we don’t like federal agents poking around in our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and yes, we’ve got some gay friends in the Red States. There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq. We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America."

It's been such a crazy, long road since then. So much has happened since this speech. (Facebook campaigns! That New Yorker cover with Barack and Michelle dressed as terrorists! SARAH PALIN BEING ABSURDLY IDIOTIC IN HER INTERVIEW WITH KATIE COURIC!) The fact that the 2008 election is over and that Barack Obama is the WINNER is so wonderfully surreal to me right now.

Obviously, Obama winning doesn't mean that like, tomorrow, there's going to be standard health care reform and the banks aren't going to be struggling like scrubs anymore and gay marriage is legalized everywhere. But this is Step One to real change, and for the first time in a very, very, long time, I feel like this country is going to get better.

I could keep going on and on about this and what it means to me, but I have mad homework that I've been neglecting and it would be quite an intelligent decision to get crack-a-lacking on that, but here are some other thoughts about today:
- It's frustrating that Prop 8 passed, but I don't think it's that unreasonable to figure that same-sex marriage will be legalized in more places in the next couple years (New VP Joe Biden is like the HRC's ace in the hole).
- There were only two people ahead of me in line when I went to vote today (Precinct 152 CO what up!!!) which was a pleasant surprise because I was expecting at least an hour long wait and brought my crossword puzzle book with me just in case.
- COLORADO WAS A BLUE STATE this year which is HUGE. I mean, Boulder is always liberal (obvi - this is a town where 10,000 smoke weed on a college quad on April 20 this year) but let's not forget that this state is neighbors with Utah. It's pretty sweet that my vote helped color this state from abrasive red to bright blue.
- I wish Tupac were around today to make a new version of "Changes" -- "although it seems heaven sent / we ain't ready, to see a black President..."
- It is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING that somebody who happens to be of an ethnicity that has been consistently oppressed, exploited, and generally fucked over throughout our country's history, who were at one point NOT EVEN CONSIDERED ACTUAL HUMANS and ENSLAVED, is our new President. CBS showed footage of Howard University after Obama was predicted to win, and even though I can't fully understand how empowered and vindicated and amazing those students must feel right now since I am white (side note: I don't think anybody can truly and completely understand what kinds of daily discrimination a minority/ascribed deviant group faces unless you are a member of that group, although of course you can feel empathy and act as an ally against stereotypes and racism and believe in TOLERANCE and EQUALITY, duh). That is just so huge and oh man, this election will never leave American history books for generations until our sun goes out and humanity is popped like the dinosaurs.




This RULES, you guys! The only thing that could make this situation better is if Bad Bitch Cindy McCain (yes, I still love her, did you see her rocking the fuck out of that gold fit during her husband's concession speech?) decided to divorce John tomorrow and just continue to be rich and do her charities and do her thang. All the mamas who profit dollas! Throw your hands up at me!

Goodness, I am emotional right now. Time for productivity.
YES WE DID! Fuck yeah.