you must be mad or you wouldn't have come here

We watched Alice in Wonderland last night. First off, Alice's eyebrows are incredibly chola.


Elbows up, side to side

And the White Rabbit gets not only his house effed up by a DODO (hello, extinct, way to add insult to injury) but the Mad Hatter's insane ass basically makes a cake out of his clock. I felt bad for him. The hookah addicted caterpillar has HUMAN HANDS, making it appear as though he's just some random homeless dude with a multiple segmented body wearing a costume. The Queen of Hearts is a man-looking dictator. And everyone knows those are the worst kinds of dictators. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum aren't in the original Alice's Adventures in Wonderland but they remind me of that Ani Difranco song anyway. Also, you know you're stoned when you over analyze this movie and have a running personal narrative about how the Carpenter is a Christ figure and the Walrus is John Lennon, even though that his self-proclaimed "I Am The Walrus" was made like a hundred years after Lewis Carroll tweaked Alice out.

I cashed my biweekly $150 yesterday, instead of putting it in my checking account like I usually do, which was really silly. I've bought so many arts and crafts. I guess I could up my income by selling these friendship bracelets or something.