sexy time

"To Catch a Predator" on Dateline is the most watched show among common woodland animals, including the owls who can twist their heads all around. It's basically the shit and has the most standard format that I've ever seen on a news show. It shows a snippet of an online conversation between a predator and a decoy underage girl (the predators have screen names like "luvs2eaturpeach") and they go along these lines:


luvs2eaturpeach: don't tell anybody about our rendez-vous. i could go to jail.
VulnerableUnderagedVagina12: good idea!
luvs2eaturpeach: just using my noodle
luvs2eaturpeach: so you can use my other noodle


then they show the predators creeping to the decoy's house and walking into the kitchen. The girl asks, "Did you bring my M&Ms?" and they pat pat pat their pockets. "Did you bring the condoms?" she asks. Pat pat pat. Then This Guy pops out of nowhere:




"So...you were planning to have a fruit salad party, weren't you, Mr. Loves To Eat Your Peach?"
"I was not gonna have sex with her."
"So why did you bring the condoms? Do you know how old this girl was?"
"Uh..."
"Thirteen. That is illegal. Do you know who I am?"
"No."
"Sure you do. I am CHRIS HANSEN, investigative reporter. You're on Dateline, and you've been caught."


At this point, the predator runs from the house and gets tasered on the lawn by the police, and then probably taken to jail. The whole thing shouldn't be so funny, because those guys should not be seeking young girls for sex, but it is. It would be amazing if you went into chat rooms with a seedy rooms and caught the Dateline people. And then you showed up with your own video camera and some confetti and say, "GOTCHYA, LIL FELLA! Two can play this game!" Haha! Power to the predators.