an incomplete list of "things easier said than done"

• Following through when an enraged authority figure tells you to "WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE!"
• Climbing a palm tree
• Having "a happy period," as Always (trademark!) instructs. Periods will only make you happy if you've been irresponsible that month, and even then it's only for like a second.
• Passing the Slurpee machine in 7-11 without sticking your fingers in the melted mess like a fiendish fruit fly*
• Emotional detachment away from someone you've been in love with for almost a year
• Convincing yourself that this was the right decision

*Applies to grade-A Crackheads only.