i still go to taco bell, drive thru, raw as hell - fergie

Should this be in bullet points just for Kix (Kid Tested, Mother Approved)? Yes.

• My dental hygienist is the shit. First she told me that I should always eat large quantities of Swedish Fish at a time rather than taking smaller portions because then the sugar doesn't build itself up buttercup. Then she recommended me to an oral surgeon for my upcoming wisdom teeth removal and said, "All of these guys are good, but this one is spicy. If you're gonna have your teeth yanked out, then you should at least have someone easy on the eyes." It should also be noted that the oral surgeon in question is named "Sohledgebreg" and she circled the "oh" part.


• I hope the White Hen on Central never ever closes. It sells the Arizona Ice Tea product "Arnold Palmer."

I drink so much of this stuff that if they cut open my veins tonight, they'd find it swimming around in my blood. You know they approached him and were like, we wanna base a half iced tea/half lemonade beverage off your image, and Arnie Arn said, "Make it approximately the length and width of my dick." And then Arizona Iced Tea Inc executives were like, shit, we better make this stuff low calorie so it won't kill people because of how large the serving sizes are.

Q: What's a regional math team's preferred drink?
A: ARML Palmer.

Recently downloaded songs:

• "Breathe Me" - Sia
• "Making Memories of Us" - Keith Urban aka my mom's ringtone
• "Faust" - Gorillaz
• "Ghetto Gospel" - 2pac & Elton John
• "Glamorous" - Fergie (I mean, she is the Dutchess)
• "This Year" - Mountain Goats
• "100,000 Fireflies" - the Magnetic Fields
• "Nobody's Fool" - Avril Lavigne!

  I'm not the milk and Cheerios in your spoon / It's not as simple, here we go,
  not so soon! / I might have fallen for that when I was fourteen and a little
  more green /But it's amazing what a couple of years can mean

• Favorite Internet face (not emoticon, that's a silly word): :-*
• Favorite Internet face that looks like he's being raped: ;0